I’ve intimated, and hinted many times that Kim has the hardest, and greatest, job in the world ‘managing’ the kids. Every family has to make its choices, but I consider the Grassos one of the luckiest families around (except when I complain about spending too much money, but that’s a ‘Jerry thing’) in that she gets to stay home with the kids at this stage in their lives. Especially with Demetrius’ condition… but regardless of it, we are lucky we have the option to make this choice. She sees things happen that I only get to hear about at dinner. Which then is right before we take our baths and read and go to sleep. I get two hours a night with them most nights. That means for five days of the seven in a week, I get about ten hours with the kids. Even though I know my role, it is never enough while they are this little. Maya is still small enough that she wants to sit on my lap for no reason..and when the rose bush blooms, she gets excited watching it happen each day.
And sometimes those things that I hear about at dinner happen again over the weekend, sometimes they don’t. Sometimes they are good things, sometimes bad…but they are what we all are, and I hate missing them.
I take comfort in knowing that the kids gets cuddles from Mommy when they get up versus having to ‘get a serious move on it’ because Mommy has to be at work at 8:30am…or when Demetrius has a hard day at school that she’s right there at the bus stop waiting for him. Same for Maya when she goes out to the carpool to be picked up from pre-school…or that they all get to go outside and play or walk Buddy. They get to make cookies or cake…or just chat about aimless kid stuff (with Maya, this doesn’t happen with the boy), or play Legos, or along a different vein – that Mommy is right there in the waiting room when therapy is over. So if there is something that one of the therapists sees or needs to discuss, positive or negative, they can address it with Kim immediately. It isn’t a note to be read later after a long day at work.
So when I am frustrated about work, or am sitting in an hour or so worth’s of traffic on the way to or from the office, I think about this stuff. Do I romanticize it a bit? Of course I do. I know Kim’s wiping noses, vacuuming, negotiating TV time, fighting with little ones that are developing their independence and watching an autistic boy be…well, autistic and constantly worry about what she is seeing and what is happening in front of her… and having her heartbroken seeing and experiencing all the things I am hardly aware of on daily basis or she just doesn’t want to talk about and stir up again – like him not playing with other kids outside, or when he wanders into other peoples houses…or answer the questions from the other kids about why he is the way he is.
So you might be thinking, what’s the posting about? Well, last night I read to Maya and snuggled her and her 27 teddy bears as she went to bed and she was falling asleep (I was watching her snuggled in next me) and she said to me, completely unexpectedly, that she ‘had a really good day’ and that she was ‘glad Harrison could come play’ and that she is excited about going to the ‘Nutcracker’ with Mommy on Friday with her class…and that she’ll get to eat lunch with Mommy and her friends too (its two days away kid, I know you can hardly wait). It just got me to thinking about all these things….
And then Kim was making the kids breakfast this morning, and they were all at the table eating together…
Well hell, sometimes you should just feel good about things, right? Sometimes, too infrequently I might add, I am thankful that the three of them have this time together. Even if I’m missing it, one of us is there – and I’m thankful for that…
Of course, the American Express bill should be arriving any day now…and I’ll be a bit grumpy again. ☺
Go hug your kid and/or your significant other. It could be worse, or it could be better – but whatever it is – it is yours. Make the most of it today if you can.