While Buddy goes for long runs in the morning, the key to his happiness while Kim and the kids are away is the afternoon walk. If we don’t do that, he’ll be laying on my lap all night, pushing his head on my leg or against my hands to pet him. He’s totally obnoxious. With the walk, he’s at least manageable.
So I’m out walking him last night, and of course, we meander by the tennis/swim courts. One of the neighbor moms asks me how I’m doing? Am I ‘eating well’? Now, I know that husbands lack a number of basic skills – but I’m not emaciated (hardly), nor is the house in disrepair (well, we are getting some work done on it), nor am I unshaven and smelly. However, without my wife – to the view and opinion of other wives – I am now a hopeless, lost cause. How did we get on without you, or your help/direction/whip? Okay, a bit of dramatic license there….
I’m fairly certain most of them don’t understand I’m a neat freak and there isn’t anything but Buddy’s tennis ball on the floor. I’ve vacuumed about twenty times, and will clean the place again before the wee-ones return, but no matter – I am what I am, that is, a husband.
And possibly a negligent dog owner. Ah, Buddy. He’s eating well, and I’m working from home. He’s not shut up in his room all week in the basement. He’s sleeping in the house, on the couch (how nice!), periodically going out to inspect the yard and the workers, and eating and drinking at his leisure.
As I answer affirmatively that life at the Grassos is okay, and I do turn the oven off after I finish cooking, I pass a Dad.
Dad: How’s it going, how’s the bachelor pad?
Me: Fine, Buddy and I believe it or not, are making it!
I look down, at the end of my leash, is Buddy, laying on his back…legs flayed open and having his belly rubbed by the Mom who questioned my cleanliness.
Mom: Are you petting him and talking to him?
Not at all, not at all….
This dog is getting me in more trouble with the neighbors than I could do by myself going out to get the paper each morning in nothing more than my birthday suit while Kim and the kids are out-of-town. What an actor….
Well, he was getting his belly rubbed, wasn’t he?
Traitor or talented?