Friday, June 6, 2008

Frustrated About Missing Swim

I want to be one of those dads that never miss his kids events.  I’m pretty good, most of them I get to – but ultimately travel/work get in the way of some.  Each one I miss though, I feel like I’ve let them down.  Maybe that’s silly I know, but that’s how I feel.

Last night I left with plenty of time to make the kids swim meet, but with Atlanta traffic (which is the second worst in the US now behind LA) and the fact that the meet was actually in the boondocks (I swear, it felt like the Tennessee border was another 1.5 miles from this meet), it took me :10 short of two hours to get there.  I literally got there, walked up, and saw Maya swim her last race and we were done.

Two hours of travel, total time at the swim meet, about :12.

I was very frustrated driving home from it. The last two I’ve left work early and have made Maya’s last race, and not one of Demetrius’.  As I drove home (Demetrius and I did a stop by McDonalds, and they didn’t even have any Speed Racer toys for him with his meal, that’s how the evening was going) I was thinking to myself ‘what’s the point’.   I’m frustrated, and Demetrius did ask Mommy why I wasn’t there and Maya told me that I missed her other races. The two of them know when I’m there or not there.  So that just piles on the guilt I’m giving myself.

I did tell Kim at some point if traffic is just that bad I wonder if it is just better to not go….she knew I was frustrated but just gave it that ‘whatever’ look (yes, I’m being dramatic, I know) but I felt bad after Demetrius kept asking where I was.  Even direct answers aren’t good enough when he asks if I am going to see him race soon.

Ouch and sigh.

Even though I’m my own boss now, I still have clients and a job to do.  Maybe if I win the lottery this takes care of itself…but until then – modern living, and being one’s own boss, can still suck eggs at times.

Posted by Jerry in 16:32:52 | Permalink | Comments (4)