How many of you have read Marti Leimbach’s Daniel Isn’t Talking
? Well, it is a novel about a mother and her 3-yr-old autistic son (and relationships)…it is very much a chick book. And I wouldn’t necessarily recommend it for guys/dads of autistic kids. It’s really not for us.
But I can’t put it down.
It isn’t a new release (2006), but I picked it up as I was with the kids at a Barnes & Noble about a month ago.
See, when I look back at all we have been through with Demetrius, I look back through my lens, not Kim’s. But what I remember in the ‘gray years’ were a lot of tears from Kim (we still get em) and her constant anxiety about everything with Super D.
Certainly, I had more than my fair share of issues also to work through, but it is/was incredibly hard to try to see anything from her point-of-view as I was dealing with it all too.
Some half baked variance of that thought process bubbled up as I saw the book laying there on a table, so I just perused a few pages – and I felt like I was reading Kim’s brain.
Now, I’m not the husband in this book, but I can relate to him, and wonder if this is how Kim saw me. At times as we were struggling with the boy early on I wasn’t sure Kim wasn’t partly crazy. I’ve thought she’s needed counseling (some think I do, but I’m so incredibly grounded, that this just isn’t a need ☺), and we’ve battled about what we’ll pay for and what we won’t.
And the constant reminder of what Thomas The Tank Engine means to autistic boys is simply more raw than I care to remember (the author does a fabulous job of describing how the boy attempts to play with his trains…which is exactly what I would have to do with Super D to get him to interact or such).
I’m not the most touchy feely guy in the world, but enough of one to write out how I cope publicly on a blog and maybe felt it was worth my while to try to understand a little bit what was going through Kim’s jumble of a brain during Demetrius’ early, non-therapy/diagnosed years…and then early therapries, etc…
And since it isn’t clinical, it is actually readable.
So if you want to better understand your spouse, hubbies, you might want to pick this book up. Yea, there is chick stuff in it you’ll have to choke back on (stuff about how the husband leaves for the old girlfriend, the mean mother-in-law, the understanding sister-in-law…the main character falling for the ABA therapist), but if you can get through that, and the differences between the American and British mindsets on what schooling and child rearing mean, then you might get a real good understanding of the desperation your significant other felt as she tried to find ‘answers’ for her little boy (or girl).