Friday, August 21, 2009

The Nod

Your mom told you not to stare, right?  We tell Maya this, alot (in fact, a few years ago, at Whole Foods, we were behind a guy missing an arm, and we told her not to stare, and she got real confused and asked why not, because he doesn’t have an arm and he’s interesting to watch.  Interesting take on staring, no?).

However, when you have an autistic spectrum child, you recognize the small signs in others, right?  I figure this is very much fun for psychologists – that guy has OCD, she has four personalities, etc….

But this morning, I saw a Mom with her 13-14 year old daughter in a lobby of the hotel.  The daughter held tightly to her mother, stared up to the left, and held a little stuffed purple monkey in her hand.  The Mom was getting some coffee, while pouring she whispered to her daughter, and the girl smiled, and giggled, but she never looked down.  But when the seniors group collected and the ladies let out a big laugh before they got on their bus (and the laughter reverberated loudly in the atrium/lobby), she squeezed her monkey and the mom whispered to her quickly.

The mom and I caught each others eyes. I nodded in the best way I possibly could that I knew what was going on with her daughter.  She understood.  Brief smile.  The nod back.

Insiders Nod?  I think so.  The signs are subtle that her daughter has autism, and its not obvious to others, but we had the parents who know moment, the nod…

Anyone else experience this?  With the severe cases it is easily detectible, no? But for the rest, you give the nod that I get it and I get the small things. I get the small monkey and the stare off to the left.

Do you?

Posted by Jerry in 18:43:21 | Permalink | Comments (1) »

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

So What’s It Like?

When the boy was diagnosed seven years ago, I used to offer up to everyone as much as I could about him, autism, and us.  This vein of thought, of course, led to this blog (along with what the marketing team at calls, the ‘itch to write).  I didn’t lead conversations with, “let me tell you about our autistic son.” But I didn’t hold back either.
It isn’t that I hold back or have changed my tune about the sharing of info, in fact, I suspect and hope, as all of us make this journey and have more experience, its just not that defining a factor in conversation.
If you get to know me, over time, you are just going to know. Its as much a part of me as my love handles, dashing looks, witty personality, 26-inch inseam, moxie and machismo.    I find that as I look over my blog postings the last year or so, they are becoming less emotional.  I don’t feel the need to spill out over the rim of the cup with words expressing my frustrations or misfortunes as I used to.  Its not that it is smooth sailing in front of us by any sense, it is just that I’ve come to expect the choppy waters.

But now that I’ve been in the new town for the better part of nine months (making that turn into a year now), and we’ve gotten to know a few folks (me both personally and professionally), and I’ve gotten the almost whisper question by a handful – they ask so seriously and quietly, as if the question will be seen as bad manners or I’m going to get up out of my chair and get my keys and drive off “What’s it like?”

Hmmm, an excellent question that can’t be answered simply, or without a nice glass of Pinot Grigio or Cabernet Franc!  But it can be written, I suspect, more easily.

What’s it like?

Liberating, because as I’ve said, I know exactly what my last thoughts will be on my deathbed, “Is he cared for, and did we give him a good life?”  Such epiphanies will set you on a certain path to make certain choices. As we look back at the short time we were here, I’ll look back at only few things, overwhelmingly.

It’s like Super Glue for me.  Once you get that special needs diagnosis with a child, it is stuck to you. It isn’t going away.  I suspect this is the same realization families fighting cancer and other diseases and afflictions have.  It is here, with you, and you either deal with it, with you when you look left or right or you try to pull it off, and it doesn’t go away.

Humbling.  I am no way in control or master of my universe.  His bad days and his ticks, like chewing through a tee shirt or squealing at the top of his lungs, TV talk, the whole enchilada, reminds me of the randomness of life.  It is human nature to try to control our environment, and some of us do it better than others, but to know that at the end of the day, ‘this’ has happened, well, keeps you grounded.  The highs aren’t too high anymore and the lows aren’t too low.

Lonely. God, at times is it lonely.  Watch some other boys play soccer and you ache to see Demetrius do the same and interact in a certain way with his peers, to experience what others are experiencing…and you just feel very alone.  Or when he just wants to turn off and decompress and turns off from you.  The TV talk can be deafening.  This is less an issue each passing day, but it is still there.

Tiring.  The cycle of maturation trickles rather than flows.  Here’s the explanation of what I mean: remember when you took your toddler-five year old to the park. You had to watch everything, you couldn’t not pay attention.  High alert at all times.  As your child matures much of this just naturally ‘dissipates’ through lessons and swats on the butt. Look both ways when crossing the street, don’t wander off following whatever catches your eye. Ask if you can leave one playground to go over to another (some kids catch on quicker than others).  With Demetrius, we still have to hover like over anxious type A new parents at the city park for the first time.  Thus, why I can legitimately say that I’ve never been more mentally tired than when we came back from Disney World (that and the weather and the fact that I was the family pack mule).  Will we ever outgrow this? I don’t know.  But I suspect we’ll be too old to go play at the park before we actually do.

Lower bullshit tolerance.  I think this one is pretty much self-evident.  Get over your &#(@&@ self.  Once you have kids it stops being about you any way.  Add the special needs issues all over it and you’ve got to tell yourself at times, “His or her worries are just as important to him/her as yours are to you in regards to Demetrius.”  That’s the first free pass.  After that, solve your problem and quit bitching about it.

Living in the moment.  As much as tiring is an issue, you do live much more in the moment.  Note my posting on diving into the pool from the high dive last week.  Look what he did.  Now just don’t do it again or you are going to give your mother a heart attack, boy.  See also, humbling above. You gotta plan for some things, and you gotta let other things (mostly things tied to your personal ego), go.

Rereading this, I can accurately say it hasn’t improved my patience or tolerance for stupid mistakes. But hey, even if I can identify a few things insightfully, I’m still human and have character flaws.

Maybe this is just a realization at 40 I am who I am, but maybe this too, is something I can attribute to autism. It’s made me better in a lot ways. Or, at least, made me aware of a few things.

Posted by Jerry in 17:56:10 | Permalink | Comments (1) »

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Better At PR Than Me

Another week, another house full of estrogen. This weekend we host Kim’s mom, sister, niece and sister-in-law. Demetrius is, once again, significantly outnumbered.

We were asking the boy today (Kim and I) about his new doctor, if he was ‘old’. Demetrius agreed he was.

Kim’s niece, Hannah, asked Demetrius how old he thought Aunt Rachel (Kim’s sister) was, Demetrius’ answer? “Sixty”

Hannah then got really brave: “How old is Nanny Joan?”

I told Demetrius his booty from Target may be on the line if he answers poorly (they are going tomorrow with Nanny Joan), all joking aside..he better answer correctly…

His answer?

“Nanny Joan is old enough.”

Well done lad, well done…..

Posted by Jerry in 00:09:06 | Permalink | Comments (1) »

Thursday, April 30, 2009

Explaining Autism To Your Autistic Child

I read this (below)  on one of the message boards I monitor by Marci Wheeler.  Thought ya’ll might be interested. 

Getting Started: Introducing Your Child to His or Her Diagnosis of Autism or Asperger Syndrome

Contributed by:
Marci Wheeler
Social Worker

Who, what, when, where, how, and why are all important questions parents ask themselves when problem solving and making decisions about issues in the lives of their children. Discussing an autism or Asperger Syndrome diagnosis with your child is a very important issue and one for which many parents seek advice. This brief article will focus on aspects of explaining your child’s diagnosis to him or her, and about resources that can assist and guide you.

Why Tell?

“Why tell my child about their diagnosis of an autism spectrum disorder?” will probably be the first question parents ask themselves. Parents go through a range of emotions when given their child’s diagnosis and hopefully find support as they begin their journey with this new information about their child. Sometimes siblings, grandparents, and other family members go through a variety of emotions and stages of dealing with the autism spectrum diagnosis of a family member. Isn’t it reasonable to consider that the child themselves should also be given information about their diagnosis and support for understanding and coping with this new information? All children need to be understood and respected. At some point, people who are successful have learned who they are, and accept and use that information to help themselves become the best they can be in life. Shouldn’t children with an autism spectrum diagnosis have the chance to understand and accept themselves by being given information about their disability?

Parents may fear a number of things if they tell their children (and sometimes others) about their child’s disability. For example, they may fear that their child will not understand, that their child may lose some of his/her options in life, that their child will become angry or depressed because they have a disability, that the child (or others) will use the disability as an excuse for why they can not do something, or even that the child will think of themselves (or others will think of the child) as a complete failure with no hope for a positive future. These problems may or may not happen, but can be dealt with if needed. Most of these problems and others may also surface whether or not the child and others are told of the diagnosis. Shouldn’t all involved, the child included, have important information about autism or Asperger Syndrome since the diagnosis will affect various aspects of the child’s life?

Certainly, the possibility of problems occurring is more likely when someone is not told about their disability and given the support they need. Consider the stories told by many individuals with an autism spectrum diagnosis who were not told, and/or not diagnosed until they were adults. Not understanding others or social situations for many leads to poor interactions with others and results in ridicule and isolation. Being told, “You should know better” or “stop being so stupid” and not having a clue what they did or how to “fix” or change the situation lead to frustration and confusion. Many adults share how they felt, they were seen as a major disappointment and failure to their families and others, but had no clue why they failed or how to do better. Over time, the end result can be low self esteem and/or self acceptance problems among other issues. Many of these individuals feel that with the correct information about their diagnosis and what their differences are they now have a better chance of being successful.

Your child may know that s/he is different, but like all children at certain developmental stages they come to the wrong conclusion about their perceived differences. They may even wonder if they have a terminal illness and are going to die. They see doctors and therapists and go for treatments, but are not told why. Even the child or adult who does not ask and/or verbally express concern about being different may still be thinking those thoughts. Even children with autism spectrum disorders, like all children, can sense the frustration and confusion of others and make wrong assumptions about the cause of the turmoil around them.

If the child is under 18 years old, it is the parent’s decision whether they share information about the diagnosis with their child. It can seem like an overwhelming task, especially when day-to-day issues consume all the time and energy of a family. It may be helpful to discuss your concerns and possible options for disclosure with others that know your child well, other parents of children on the autism spectrum, and even individuals with an autism spectrum disorder who have been told about their diagnosis.

When to Tell?

There is no exact age or time that is correct to tell a child about their diagnosis. A child’s personality, abilities and social awareness are all factors to consider in determining when a child is ready for information about their diagnosis. Starting too early can cause confusion. If older when told, they may be extremely sensitive to any suggestion that they are different. You can look for the presence of certain signs that the child is ready for information. Some children will actually ask, “What is wrong with me?,” “Why can’t I be like everybody else?,” “Why can’t I _____?,” or even “What is wrong with everyone?” These types of questions are certainly a clear indication that they need some information about their diagnosis. Some children, however, may have similar thoughts and not be able to express them well.

Some children do not get a diagnosis until they are in their teens or older. Frequently those who are diagnosed later have had some bad experiences that can influence the decision of when to share information with them about their diagnosis. They may not be emotionally ready to cope with the new information because of the toll the bad experiences have taken on their self-esteem and confidence. They may be very sensitive to any information that suggests that they are different. Thus they are not ready for any diagnostic information. On the other hand, an older child may already know about a previous diagnosis such as Attention Deficit Disorder, Conduct Disorder, and/or an emotional disorder of some kind. Because of this history with another label or diagnosis, it may be an appropriate time to share the diagnosis and some concrete information about the disability.

Many families have found that setting a positive tone about each family member’s uniqueness is a wonderful starting place. A positive attitude about differences can be established if you start as early as possible, and before the diagnosis is mentioned. Everyone is in fact unique with their own likes and dislikes, strengths and weaknesses, and physical characteristics. Differences are discussed in a matter of fact manner as soon as the child or others their age understand simple concrete examples of differences. With this approach, it is more likely that differences, whatever they are, can be a neutral or even fun concept. Matter of fact statements such as “Mommy has glasses and Daddy does not have glasses” or “Bobby likes to play ball and you like to read books” are examples. The ongoing use of positive concrete examples of contrasts among familiar people can make it easier to talk about other differences related to your child’s diagnosis with him or her.

Many adults with an autism spectrum disorder express the view that children should be given some information before they hear it from someone else and/or overhear or see information that they sense is about them. A child may have the view that people do not like them and/or that they are always in trouble, but do not know why. If given a choice, waiting until a negative experience occurs to share the information is probably not the best option.

What/How to Tell?

Autism spectrum disorders are complex. Everyone with a diagnosis is unique. It is important that the process of explaining an autism spectrum diagnosis to a child is individualized and meaningful to them. A child should not be given too much information. It can be hard to decide what and how much information to begin with. If the child has asked questions, it will give you a place to start. Make sure that you understand what they are asking. Recall that it is easy to misinterpret the meaning of their words.

Remember your child’s ability to process information and try to decide on what and how to tell. For those children who have a keen interest in their diagnosis and those whose reading ability is good, there are currently a few books written by children with an autism spectrum diagnosis that may be of interest to them (Hall, 2001; Jackson, 2003).

There are also many more books being written by adults with an autism spectrum diagnosis. Some of these books are meant to be read by any interested persons, but a few are meant to be read by others with a diagnosis of an autism spectrum disorder. The author with an autism spectrum diagnosis is reaching out to others with a diagnosis by sharing experiences, sharing tips on life’s lessons, and helping the reader feel that they are not alone in the journey of life (Gerland, 2000; Newport, 2001; Willey,1999; Lawson, 2003).

Most children may need minimal information to start. More information can be added over time. Be as positive as possible. Your positive attitude and the manner in which you convey the information is important. To make what you discuss with your child meaningful, you can begin by talking about any questions that s/he has asked. You may want to write down key points and tell him or her that others with this diagnosis/disability also have some of the same questions and experiences. Then you could ask if they would like to find more information by reading books, watching videos, and/or by talking with other people. If asking your child if they want information is likely to get a “no” response you may choose to not ask, but tell them that you will be looking for information and would like to share it with them. Let them know they can ask any question they want at any time they want.

Frequently when individuals with an autism spectrum diagnosis have an opportunity to meet others with a diagnosis, they find it is an eye opening and very rewarding experience. Individuals with an autism spectrum diagnosis can sometimes better understand themselves and the world by interacting with others who have an autism spectrum diagnosis. Interacting with others on the autism spectrum can help individuals realize there are other people that experience the world the way they do, and that they are not the only one.

There are various possibilities for “meeting” others on the spectrum. There are a few camps around the country that offer various programs specifically for those on the autism spectrum. There is the MAAP Services for the Autism Spectrum yearly conference and the MAAP newsletter which frequently publishes letters poems and other contributions from individuals of all ages with an autism spectrum diagnosis. There are also various listserv groups on the internet, some hosted by individuals with an autism spectrum diagnosis. Carol Gray’s Pen Pal Registry is a project that helps school-aged students with an autism spectrum diagnosis get connected with others. This interest in connecting with people is something most of us can relate to, especially if you’ve been in a foreign country for very long! Think about it.

Currently, there are a few workbooks that provide a structured guide for the process of telling a child with an autism spectrum diagnosis about their disability (Gray, 1996; Faherty, 2000; Vermeulen, 2000). The workbook format is designed to provide activities that help organize information about an autism spectrum diagnosis as well as making the information more child specific and concrete. The different lessons suggest how the information is shared with the child. The worksheets can be completed together by the child and a trusted adult. In many cases they can also be modified for the different ages and functioning levels of the child who would be using the materials.

Who Tells/Where to Tell?

Certainly circumstances vary from family to family. If your child is asking questions don’t put off answering them. You should be forthcoming and not suggest talking about it later. Not providing an answer could increase the child’s anxiety and make the topic and information more mysterious.


For many families, using a knowledgeable professional to begin the disclosure process instead of a family member or a friend of the family might be the best option. Having a professional involved, at least in the beginning stages of disclosure, leaves the role of support and comfort to the family and those closest to the child. For someone with an autism spectrum disorder, it can be especially hard to seek comfort from someone who gives you news that can be troubling and confusing. Having a professional whose role is clearly to discuss information about the child’s diagnosis and how the disability is affecting his/her life can make it easier for family members to be seen by the child as supportive. The professional discussing information with the child about his/her disability can also help the parents understand the child’s reaction and provide suggestions for supporting their child. Having a professional involved also allows the use of a location outside of the family home for beginning this process.

Explaining an autism spectrum diagnosis to an individual can not be done in one or two encounters. The individual needs time to assimilate the new information about him/herself at their own pace. It may take weeks or months before the child initiates comments or asks questions about the new information. The process of explaining an autism spectrum diagnosis is ongoing. Making the information meaningful from the child’s point of view will greatly enhance the learning process. A positive focus helps maintain self esteem and an effective atmosphere for learning. There are materials available to help this learning process and hopefully you have others that know your child who can help support you and your child in this process. Now, is it time for you to get started?

Posted by Jerry in 21:53:51 | Permalink | Comments Off

Monday, March 2, 2009

Gut Check II

In a freak scenario that only happens when I travel, it snow-stormed in Atlanta yesterday. Not only was I lucky enough to stand in line for five hours to be re-ticketed to Lexington tonight, I got the distinct pleasure of riding the MARTA from Point A to Point Z, and back, in a single day. 

Like public transportation anywhere in the USA, MARTA has its advantages and disadvantages, and its fair-share of pan handlers and the such. Of course, I ignore most, but yesterday a young man at about the age of 21 was begging for change.  He had a speech impediment, had a single dollar folded up in his hand (a kind of security thing, a comfort if you will) and had the shakes.  He kind of made eye-contact, but in that special needs way, he saw through you or didn’t even look at you as he asked you for change. 

It was about 35 degrees out and he was wearing just a tee-shirt. You might think poor person, I think sensory integration issues. 

Now, another ‘great’ thing MARTA does is when you pay with cash, your change always comes back in coin dollars. Lovely.  Put in a twenty for a round trip, and you literally get a pocket full of metal back.  I had forgotten, and had a number of Sacagewea dollars in my pocket.  I handed him one, because, like single women fearing being lonely with cats and becoming bag ladies in their old age, I fear this scenario for Demetrius’ future. 

He didn’t know it was a dollar, so he asked me for more quarters.

I told him it was a dollar.  I’m white, he’s black. He turns to an older black man and shows it to him for approval of what I told him. I don’t know why this happened. There were three other white guys around me, so it is what it is.  The older gentleman smiled at him, gave him a regular dollar bill, and said, “Yes, it is a gold dollar.”

He squealed and smiled, he said thanks and went into the next car.  A few stops later I saw him on the platform sitting down with his money to count it.

SEVEN HOURS LATER, when I was rebooked and headed back in the train to the station in Alpharetta for Kim to pick me up, he comes into the car I’m in. The temp is now in the 20s, and he’s still in his tee shirt. He sees me, and walks right up to me.

Do you have another gold dollar? I liked the one you gave me.

I gave him another.  He put his paper dollar in his hand in his pocket and looked at it.  He then looked up at me (kind of) and said, “It’s real too!”

I told him it was.  He put it in his pocket and took out his other dollar.  He walked a few steps and he asked for a ‘gold dollar’ from another lady.  She gave him some change.

Did he sleep somewhere warm last night? Does he have a family? Is this what life is for this young man from here on out?  Is he pulling my leg? (doubt it).  Does he have a jacket?

I don’t know. But he has a gold dollar. Sometimes it is worth more than just a dollar, you know?

And sometimes that uncomfortable part of the pit of your stomach, that you worry about in regards to your special needs kid…hits you right in the face on the MARTA, like a shot across the jaw.

Posted by Jerry in 20:14:43 | Permalink | Comments (2)

Friday, February 27, 2009

Gut Check

When I travel to work in the morning, I go by a sight that often makes my stomach drop a bit, if I’m not preoccupied thinking about work. (I’d have more to be pre-occupied if I were still commuting for hours in Atlanta…one of the immediate benefits of moving to Lexington.).

I see a number of adult people being led down a hill to a bus stop where they are going to their jobs…but it clear that they are special needs, and are getting there with their aides/assistants.  
I should be happy these folks can go to a job, one that they are probably proud of, and rightly should be, as they are functioning in society…others I suspect are going to a special ed center, from the location that the live at. These folks are holding the hands of someone, etc…

So why does my stomach drop – knowing that someday Demetrius may choose to live at such a location (he may feel better doing so to be around his peers or have some sort of level of self reliance), and that he’ll have to have someone walk down the hill with him to make sure he gets from point A to point B.  Is this best I can hope for him?  What do the parents of these people think?  Are they happy, or is this the best for him/her?  Is this what happens to Demetrius if/when we die?  What happens if Maya moves away to fulfill a dream or doing something special with her life – and we can’t take care of (or really at this future point ‘help out’) Demetrius?  Is this where he ‘goes’.

The bus stop is on the other side of the road from me in the mornings, and I can’t really get too close to these folks.  Do they smile, do they do it by rote?  Are they happy.  Do I want to really see if in fact they are, or are not? Do I want to see if they look unkempt, or if they are properly bathed or cleaned (does someone help them with their finishing touches, because if they are walking to the bus stop, I assume they can mostly take care of themselves)?

I should make a u-turn some morning and drive by – but of course, I know if they don’t look like I think they should in my mind’s eye, that that drop in my stomach will certainly be deeper and a bit more worrisome. I’ll have that shaky, a touch more than uncomfortable feeling for the rest of the day.  The real future feeling we all hate to feel at some psychological level.

But who knows, I might be pleasantly surprised and if so, my day might actually be great. It just is really a matter of whether I’m brave enough, right?

Why do I do these things to myself?

Posted by Jerry in 02:07:22 | Permalink | Comments (1) »

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Educating Friends

Whoever posted the comment about educating freinds.  You can download the PDF off of this eb site. It is on about Page 10-15, something like this.  The PDF is called:

Kentucky’s Family Guide to Autism Spectrum Disorders, released February, 2009

Cheers, Jerry

Posted by Jerry in 01:01:11 | Permalink | Comments (1) »

Saturday, February 21, 2009

This Is News You Might Be Able To Use

One of the really great things about the move to Lexington has been getting on the Autism Society of the Bluegrass’ mailing.  I don’t have time to go through each and every email, but I found this particular Web site they pointed us to useful.

I was thinking the family guide PDF could be really useful. Especially if you are thinking your wee-one might be…..or if he/she was just diagnosed…you’ll want information – lots of it…and you’ll drink from a firehose on autism…but it is like jumping into senior level classes your freshman year, your ability to retain is limited (by the way, lets not forget the emotional impact)!  This looks like a great primer.  Heck, I even see a section on education friends.  Good stuff!

Posted by Jerry in 02:59:05 | Permalink | Comments (1) »


Sorry I’ve been a bit remiss in writing in depth this week, a bit busy at the ol’ office.  I’ll try to make up for it this weekend.

If you follow the autism news (Google Alerts, etc…) the old vaccine, ‘Gives kids autism/doesn’t give kids autism’ is back front-and-center (I blog about this being circled around again last week).  I saw a few articles in the likes of the Kansas City Star.

I know better, that controversy is news, but it still frustrates me that the coverage about autism is almost always about ‘keeping from getting it’ vs. what are we doing to combat it.  Yes, you’ll see medical stories and small pieces about it…but it seems the mainstream media spends more time on the ‘what causes it’ subject.  Like I said, I know better – that this is news, but still…I’d love to see more on promising therapies or medicines.  Too soon, but still… a little wishful thinking on my part.

Posted by Jerry in 02:27:05 | Permalink | Comments Off

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Thinking This All Through

As I read more and more about gluten free eating, I can’t help but feel how enormously lucky Demetrius is alive and well in the period of time that he is in.  While maybe the dairy and gluten free diets won’t be the end all be all for him…to be alive, even a few years ago, and not have the info that this may or may not help him would have meant dealing with his autism would only be ‘that much’ harder.

I saw in the LA Times over the weekend that environmental factors in Southern California are again being potentially ‘linked’ to autism.  Sigh.  I remember moving out there, D was just a little bug-a-boo, and feeling that every day was a kind of celebration.  Great new job, everyday, literally, was sunny and bright and that we were living in a place that neither Kim nor I had ever experienced.  Sleeping with the windows open year round, gentle breezes…a baby cooing and giggling. 

Bad enough that within months I had lost my job and was unemployed, but to think that the environment that I thought was so perfect (I began to seriously drop weight living out there) was manifesting itself differently in Demetrius is kind of depressing.  I always say I’d move back there in a second (if I had the money and could live the lifestyle I’d want, in the right kind of house) but I guess I have to rethink that, especially if Demetrius is with us the rest of our lives.

So on the one hand, I’m happy I can stroll into Whole Foods and buy gluten free waffles for the kid for breakfast.  The issue on the other hand , I guess, is we just can’t do Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles in LA… which is too bad, because every time I eat there in Pasadena I think about how Demetrius loves waffles and chicken…think they’ll do gluten-free someday?

Posted by Jerry in 01:28:58 | Permalink | Comments Off