At the Birthday Party this past weekend I noticed that out of the verbal autistic boys at the party, that Super D was the least social. He was having a good time, enjoying himself (after awhile the noise and lights and such all get overwhelming for him), but he really doesn’t interact with the kids at the party.
I was watching two other kids, who in fact had their autistic issues, but were at least social. Uncomfortably so, but still, they were social.
So what am I hungering for here? Well, what I figure all of us want – something different than what we do have. Maya is so social (she needs to have her calendar filled at all times, if possible, with play dates with ‘the girls’), and when Demetrius spends a weekend home by himself without a play date – well, it is just hard. But without the want to be social, living in the bubble he often does, and then being a bit shy and laid back…this all works against him. If he were more social, then maybe…
Maybe what? Demetrius becoming more frustrated from trying to talk to other kids, only to be made fun of or ignored? Demetrius becoming angry because when he does communicate it isn’t right, and he stews and cries because of it?
I’ve seen this too – but I see it less, on average, as the social ones become better at communicating…I’m not saying they are perfect and there aren’t multitudes of issues, what I am seeing is less of the frustration than when they were 5 and 6 as their social skills have improved along with their vocabularies.
At the heart of it all I know how much he enjoyed his birthday party, but I also know how much better it could have been if he interacted with those kids bowling and goofing around. Just some wishful thinking on my part.