My Autistic Boy And Other Adventures In Fatherhood

We’ve repeatedly asked the kids what their favorite rides were at the theme parks. The answers vary depending on where their minds are at.  If one is thinking of Magic Kingdom, “Small World!” may be yelled.  I suspect the farther we move away from the trip, and it is less vivid, the more the truth will emerge on the favorite as the days merge together.  That said, Maya tells me the best part of the trip had nothing to do with Disney.

“Daddy, the best part of the trip was having the room with doors to Nonni and Grandpa’s room. We could go see them whenever we want.”

So, I spent a couple grand on a week’s travel to/from/at Orlando’s vacation haunts, and I coulda just booked rooms at the local Embassy Suites with connecting rooms, and Maya and D would have been happy just swimming in the pool and talking to Grandpa through the bathroom door while he reads USA Today in the bathroom?  Wow.

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Hollywood Disney sells these ’somewhat’ soft, toy Indiana Jones whips. When you buy them, you think they are somewhat innocent.  Never ever ask your son to show you how the whip works.  It works.  It works just fine.  You then tell your son never to aim the whip at a person’s face.  However, my boy now never needs to worry that Mommy and Daddy will have a surprise brother or sister anytime soon. This is the result of telling him not to aim at my face.  Better instruction would have been not to aim at a person at all. 

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Some of the best parts of any trip is the people watching.  At Hollywood Disney we saw a father/son/son combo who all had mohawks.  They, of course, had on Star Wars tee shirts (it was, after all, Star Wars weekend), as we watched them walk by - my brother-in-law had the comment for the day, “You gotta respect a family that commits to a mohawk.” Indeed.  Question? What had Mom committed to? She wasn’t to be found….Oh, I’m guessing she committed to not being seen in public with the males in her family.

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It is fun to confuse your kids by saying, “how was DisneyWorld?” and then saying we went on vacation to Orlando.  Demetrius corrected me a number of times.  “We aren’t going to DisneyWorld in Orlando!” “We are going to DisneyWorld in Florida!”  In 95 degree heat and humidity, it just isn’t worth the explanation.

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Why do all of these old people like to work at DisneyWorld? Really, when I’m 72 years old, I’m just going to bet I don’t want to dress like a candy striper in pale yellow with a tigger symbol on my shirt, while pointing to a parking spot for some angry 40 year old (Jerry, anyone?) to park his mini van RIGHT IN THIS SPOT, YOUNG MAN.  Only the old men smile.  Really, they are  happy to be doing this?  The old women really didn’t smile.  Why? Are they angry because their husbands are dressed like pale yellow dirty old men in Adventureland, while they are stuck dressed like a lollipop in Frontierland?  Are they thinking….damn that Bernie Madoff? I wouldn’t be dressing like this if my jackass husband had just opened up a Vanguard S&P 500 Index Fund….now, we look like extras in the Donny and Marie show back up band!

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And why pale yellow anyway?  I don’t think Disney and pale yellow…I think Disney and dollar bill green….oh, by the way, did I mention I just wrote a check to Uncle American Express to pay for this jaunt? Yea, again, the Embassy Suites with the connecting door might just have made me a happier dude, without getting ‘Indiana Jones Whip Racked”….

Aunt Francine and Maya on a Dr. Seuss ride

Captain America, Demetrius and Nonni at lunch

Maya and Aunt Francine at lunch

Me, Uncle Jimmy and Grandpa at lunch

D, The Big Sponge and Maya at Universal Studios

Me and Nonni at Genco Imports (owner - Vito Corleone)

Wet Maya, Grandpa and Demetrius enjoying a snack

Even when having fun, still autistic (see ears being covered)

Demetrius in jail

No, I’m not tired, not at all……

Daddy, Homer and Uncle Jimmy

Daddy, Maya, Kim, Demetrius, Nonni and Grandpa

The results of a great day!

Good bye Orlando….

Lots of different benefits with Demetrius’ new diet - more engaged, more willing to start a conversation, more willing to tell you how he feels and what he likes and dislikes (there may be positives and negatives with that!).

One other thing I’ve noticed is how his palate has expanded.  Food he would not otherwise have tried is now willing to be eaten, simply because the overall choices are so limited.  He can only have french fries periodically - so he will now eat rice and baked potatoes, he’s eating more and different types of veggies beyond peas and broccoli, and he’s had braised ribs and hamburgers (on a tapioca bun - gluten free at Disney!) which he would have never had touched before if he could have gotten his hands on chicken fingers.

He’s also turned into that lean, mean fighting machine he once was, and his energy is up.

Now, to chase him all over Universal Studios today…..

Maya and D at some 3-D show

Nonni and Grandpa at a restaurant at Disney

Mommy (Kim), Aunt Fran and Maya

Me and Maya in a pink tea cup

Maya and a popcicle

Maya trying to pull Excaliber from the stone….

Is this the best Seinfeld episode ever? It may very well be the single best episode ever.  When George and Jerry are making out with Susan and Schmoopie in the booth of the cafe…man…

Best                                    Episode                       Ever

Tomorrow we leave for DisneyWorld.  I’m not sure if it will be nearly as fun as this episode.  I’m so glad I got to watch this ….today we closed on the house, and after signing my name about 30 times, and writing a check that include words like ‘thousand’ in it, I deserve the schmoopie episode.