A Few Observations From A Week’s Vacation
“Daddy, the best part of the trip was having the room with doors to Nonni and Grandpa’s room. We could go see them whenever we want.”
So, I spent a couple grand on a week’s travel to/from/at Orlando’s vacation haunts, and I coulda just booked rooms at the local Embassy Suites with connecting rooms, and Maya and D would have been happy just swimming in the pool and talking to Grandpa through the bathroom door while he reads USA Today in the bathroom? Wow.
Hollywood Disney sells these ‘somewhat’ soft, toy Indiana Jones whips. When you buy them, you think they are somewhat innocent. Never ever ask your son to show you how the whip works. It works. It works just fine. You then tell your son never to aim the whip at a person’s face. However, my boy now never needs to worry that Mommy and Daddy will have a surprise brother or sister anytime soon. This is the result of telling him not to aim at my face. Better instruction would have been not to aim at a person at all.
Some of the best parts of any trip is the people watching. At Hollywood Disney we saw a father/son/son combo who all had mohawks. They, of course, had on Star Wars tee shirts (it was, after all, Star Wars weekend), as we watched them walk by – my brother-in-law had the comment for the day, “You gotta respect a family that commits to a mohawk.” Indeed. Question? What had Mom committed to? She wasn’t to be found….Oh, I’m guessing she committed to not being seen in public with the males in her family.
It is fun to confuse your kids by saying, “how was DisneyWorld?” and then saying we went on vacation to Orlando. Demetrius corrected me a number of times. “We aren’t going to DisneyWorld in Orlando!” “We are going to DisneyWorld in Florida!” In 95 degree heat and humidity, it just isn’t worth the explanation.
Why do all of these old people like to work at DisneyWorld? Really, when I’m 72 years old, I’m just going to bet I don’t want to dress like a candy striper in pale yellow with a tigger symbol on my shirt, while pointing to a parking spot for some angry 40 year old (Jerry, anyone?) to park his mini van RIGHT IN THIS SPOT, YOUNG MAN. Only the old men smile. Really, they are happy to be doing this? The old women really didn’t smile. Why? Are they angry because their husbands are dressed like pale yellow dirty old men in Adventureland, while they are stuck dressed like a lollipop in Frontierland? Are they thinking….damn that Bernie Madoff? I wouldn’t be dressing like this if my jackass husband had just opened up a Vanguard S&P 500 Index Fund….now, we look like extras in the Donny and Marie show back up band!
And why pale yellow anyway? I don’t think Disney and pale yellow…I think Disney and dollar bill green….oh, by the way, did I mention I just wrote a check to Uncle American Express to pay for this jaunt? Yea, again, the Embassy Suites with the connecting door might just have made me a happier dude, without getting ‘Indiana Jones Whip Racked”….