My Autistic Boy And Other Adventures In Fatherhood

As we move closer to Global Autism Day I suspect we’ll see lots of pieces for media story postings. I’ll push the ones I see to you. Here is another from a CNN employee who is a recently diagnosed Aspie.

I’ve been noticing more and more ‘changes’ since Demetrius has been on the Prozac. When he began his ADHD meds a few years ago EVERYONE EVERYWHERE saw the differences, but I would say these changes continue to be subtle and right there if you are looking for them.

He still plays with his hair, but when you tell him to stop, he is actually stopping. Last night (before I got home) he tried to turn the television on, and of course, was blocked. He pushed enough buttons in his attempt to ‘un-block’ the TV that it wouldn’t work until I got home and basically re-booted it.  By that time, TV time was over for him, and we just were able to catch the end of Hannah Montana. No fit, no melt downs. He just ‘understood’ and went in the basement and played. Sure, he fussed about having to get ready about bed :15 later, but what kid doesn’t do that?

This morning he wouldn’t eat his breakfast and Kim was fussing at him…so I told him if he didn’t sit down and eat (sometimes an issue with this boy) that I’d take his super heroes from him for one week (Grandparents - get over it, I have to discipline your grandchildren at some point) for repeatedly not doing what his mother asked. No fit, just sulking and eating bagel.

Of course, I noticed a few minutes later that I was being ‘webbed’ by him. (In Spider Man, when the Web-Slinger doesn’t want to hear somebody, he shoots some webbing into that person’s mouth to shut them up….Demetrius will do this also, it is a form of ‘pretending’ resistance!) But I can live with that.

So these are the little things I’m seeing. It must taste awful though, everytime he finishes it in his juice (which we mix the meds in), his eyes water.

All that said, I’ll leave you this weekend with Maya in her Hannah Montana get up. I just know I have a cheerleader in my future:

Hannah Montana Guitar, Headset, bracelets, glittery concert uniform…..

Well, first thing is first. While Demetrius headed off for school today, we kept Maya home for another (she had a slight fever last night we wanted her to beat) day. I knew she felt better when:

Maya set up breakfast for her little toy doggy ‘Coconut’ with its own bowl of water and apple slices next to Buddy’s bowl in the kitchen……

That said, while she languished in a slight fever stupor last night, I went down to the basement and put up her: HANNAH MONTANA FATHEAD!

Let me say this one was much easier to hang than Demetrius’ was.  First, we weren’t trying to hang it up over a window in a bedroom; second, because we decided to hang it in the play room in the basement, the walls didn’t have any sort of paint treatment on them - so it was a snap.  It is bigger than Demetrius’ Spider Man (which made Maya happy!) and came in two parts, but easier to get on the wall because of the vertical configuration (versus Spidy’s horizontial girth!).

So while we didn’t feel well at all, we still trudged it down to the basement to see it all hung up…which I think, released some of the endorphins last night that broke the Pink Bombshell’s fever.  Here are the moments this blog posting is all about:

We had to whip out our Hannah Montana guitar and jam with her, cuz you know, we are in the band together!

And we keep walking over and touching our Hannah Fathead while announcing, “It is bigger than Demetrius’!” This makes it all the more valued…

The complete Hannah Montana Fathead Wall, with Maya standing in front of it on a box I told her not to stand on…..

Guys, my kids love these. They ain’t cheap. But they are really well made and they are adored by each of my kids.  I wouldn’t hesitate to recommend one if you are considering it….my kids love them.

Liar? Pretender? Or just misunderstood?

Kim and Maya went to see the Hannah Montana movie last night. Maya woke up yesterday morning giddy as could be, and as soon as she got off the bus it was, “Is it time to go see Hannah Montana yet?”

They had to leave early to get seats….so it was just the boy and me at home (a friend stopped by for him to play with for awhile).

He wasn’t jealous, but in typical autistic fashion, he needed to know what time they’d be home, etc…but I just wanted to make sure….

Jerry: Demetrius, did you want to see the movie?

Demetrius: No.

Jerry: Demetrius, you never watch it home, do you like Hannah Montana?

Demetrius: No.

Jerry: Really, you don’t like it? Why?

Demetrius: She’s pretending.

First I thought I might have to discuss acting…but he ’s never questioned that before…then I got it. She switches from Hannah to Mylie in the show. So I tried to explain it to him. I don’t think I hit the ball out of the infield, as they say, in this case.

Demetrius: Oh. She is pretending in the show. She is not lying. Can we watch SpongeBob now?

Well….. different strokes for the different kids in the house….

Hannah’s big, but no SpongeBob….

I got home last night and Maya was watching Hannah Montana…I’m not sure exactly how much she likes this show, but her cousin Hannah loves it, so if it is what the big girls that like the color pink are watching, we are watching it too.

Daddy: Where’s Demetrius?

Mommy: Guess what?

I blink, go ahead Kim, drop it on me….

Mommy: Demetrius is having a sleepover at Eric’s!

Now, for those of you not in ‘the know’ Eric is the little boy the next street over that’s in Demetrius’ class at school, and attends all the superhero movie debuts with us at the local cinema (SpiderMan, Fantastic Four and the like).

Spur of the moment, Super D was over there playing and Eric’s mommy just asked if he wanted to stay the night.

We ate dinner and then gathered Demetrius’ sleeping bag, toothbrush, change of clothes, PJs and delivered the goods. Of course, when we got over there, Kim and Maya shot right out of the car. Maya needed to investigate (is it more fun than I’m having? What toys does Eric have? Demetrius better not be having more fun than I would have if I were having a sleepover or staying over at someone else’s house….) and Kim…well, she needed to give an inspection/goodnight kiss.

I didn’t quite move as fast up to the front door as Kim and Maya, but I got there and gave Demetrius a kiss.

Demetrius: DADDY! I’M HAVING A SLEEPOVER AT ERIC’S HOUSE! (He was so excited, he was yelling at me)

Daddy: I know, what are you guys –

Demetrius: WE WENT TO BURGER KING FOR DINNER!

Daddy: Wow, that sounds –

Demetrius: AND I GOT A TRANSFORMERS TOY!

Daddy: Demetrius, that sounds great. Lets go talk to Mommy…

Mommy shows him his toothbrush, etc…this lasts all of 10 seconds before he running off. Kim and Eric’s mommy talk a few minutes…

Daddy: Maya, lets go!

We head to the door, Demetrius comes to the top of the stairs (they were in Eric’s room playing).

Demetrius: DADDY!

Daddy: Yes, Demetrius?

Demetrius: I AM HAVING A SLEEPOVER AT ERIC’S HOUSE! I’LL BE HOME TOMORROW MORNING AND THEN I WILL WATCH THE JUSTICE LEAGUE MOVIE!

Daddy: That sounds great. Have fun tonight, okay? Do what Eric’s mommy tells you to do, okay?

Demetrius: DADDY! CAN YOU BRING OVER THE JUSTICE LEAGUE MOVIE TO WATCH OVER HERE?

Of course we say no, somehow corral Maya, and head home. Now things get good for Maya…because she and Mommy have a spa night (bath with ‘bath salts’ and stuff) and she gets all the attention. She even has a sleepover in her sleeping bag in our room…of course, Maya being Maya, she tried to negotiate me sleeping on the floor and she would sleep on the bed with Mommy. I told her only if I got to sleep in her Disney Princess sleeping bag, but that was more than she could bear. So I got to sleep in my bed and have a non-sore back.

But Kim twisted and tossed all night long. After my jog with Buddy this morning, I got upstairs at 6am-ish for a shower, and Kim was already up. Kim, up? At that hour? For no good reason?

Hmmmm?

Transitions are hard, we all work so hard to eliminate unforseens because it is so hard to handle/process quick changes to routines. Change a schedule and whammo, what’s the fallout? We all fear this.

I’ll leave you to ponder that last paragraph – if it is about mommies of autistic boys or autistic little boys? Who do you think slept better last night? Demetrius at Eric’s house, or Kim worrying about Demetrius at Eric’s house?

Who had the harder transition in this case? Heh-heh….